Atlantis: A Nomance
Epigraph
Being set on the idea Of getting to Atlantis, You have discovered of course Only the Ship of Fools is Making the voyage this year, As gales of abnormal force Are predicted, and that you Must therefore be ready to Behave absurdly enough To pass for one of The Boys. --“Atlantis”, WH Auden
Atlantis
Akela was in the library, his long frame hunched over his laptop as he worked.
“I’m going to Legal Seafood for supper. Wanna come along?” Ruth asked.
“Nah…” answered Akela. “Need to debug this script.”
“Y’know, Akela, MIT is not a religious seminary. You’re allowed to enjoy yourself.”
“I don’t eat for enjoyment. I eat because I have to, to stay alive.”
“They’re not mutually exclusive. Besides, even if you don’t enjoy the food, you can enjoy the company, …”
Akela goggled at her, paralyzed.
She got up from the table and left the library.
Akela fled.
#
He resumed his debugging in the lounge of his dormitory suite.
His suite-mate George asked, “Have you eaten?”
“Not yet.”
“Want to get dinner at Legal?”
“Is everyone eating at Legal tonight?” thought Akela. “Sorry, no, I can’t go to Legal right now,” he told George.
“You can’t go to Legal? That sounds weird. Why not?”
“Ruth invited me to get supper there with her. It’d be awkward if I ran into her.”
“Whoa! Let me get this straight,” George answered. “We’re talking about Ruth Bowman, right?”
“Yes.”
“Ruth Bowman asked you to eat with her, and you turned her down?”
“Right.”
“Why, for God’s sake? Ruth is nice.”
The blush that had been creeping up Akela’s neck since the start of this conversation now arrived at his cheeks.
George said, “OK, never mind. Not my business.”
George, too, went away, presumably to join the exponentially growing crowd at Legal.
“Oh, GAWD,” thought Akela. George surely thought now that Akela had a crush on Ruth. And before long, everyone they knew would have heard the same thing. Including, quite possibly, Ruth.
“I mean,” he thought, “I do not. Have a crush on Ruth.”
But then why, he had to ask himself honestly, had he just frozen up like that when she spoke of enjoying “the company?”
#
At this moment, Ruth was blushing, too. She had not gone to Legal, Instead, she ate at her residence hall diner.
“Why,” she asked herself, “did I invite him like that?”
“Well,” she answered herself, “it was no big deal. I was just being friendly.”
“But then you got personal about it.”
“Yeah, self, you’re right. That was dumb.”
“He’s gonna think you’re sweet on him.”
“Ugh.”
#
“My problem,” Akela thought, “is women. Well, no, that’s not right. The problem is me. I have no peace of mind when there’s a pretty woman nearby.”
#
“Why does everything have to mean something when there are guys around?” Ruth asked herself. “OK, fair: he didn’t do anything wrong. He just wanted to work. And it’s not like I particularly care about him. I was just trying to be nice.”
#
“Is there some place a guy can go to get away from women?” Akela wondered, alone that night. “I mean, obviously, there are monasteries. But I’m not religious.”
After a little unserious network searching, he discovered that there were things called Men’s Retreats. These were organizations that gave men a place to stay for a few days, usually in some remote location where they could supposedly get back to nature. Most of them offered activities, like hiking or survival training or some other such crap. It didn’t sound attractive. Besides, the prices were eye-watering.
But then he found one—Atlantis Retreats, it was called— in the Berkshires, western Massachusetts, a few hours drive from MIT, that had a student discount. It would be just a couple hundred dollars for five days. Being suspicious, he called them and asked to speak to the management.
“I’m interested in the men’s retreat. I wondered about the student discount.”
“Yes! It’s an awesome deal! A $3,000 value for only $200!”
“Well, see, that’s my problem. It’s a bit too awesome. How can you offer a discount like that? It feels like a scam.”
“OK, I’ll be honest.”
“You weren’t before?”
“Whoa, whoa. Not what I meant at all! I haven’t told any lies, and our ads on the website are honest, too. We think it’s a great experience.”
“But…” said Akela.
“But we—my wife and I—bought this retreat from previous owners, who failed to make a business of it. Because we’re new, we’re working hard to attract customers. We have accommodations that will just go to waste if we can’t fill them.”
“And empty rooms look bad to paying customers, right?”
“Right! I can see you’re a clever young man.”
Annoyed by the flattery, Akela didn’t answer.
“Well, you’re right. Empty rooms look bad. It costs us nothing to give those empty rooms away for next to nothing. That’s especially true if we only give them to people who could not possibly pay full freight, like most students. It’s a sound business strategy, honest!”
Akela would have felt better if the man had used the word “honest” less. “Can you put me in touch with students who have taken part in your retreat on the student discount?”
“I’ll have to get back to you on that. You’ll understand that I can’t simply give out names and contact information without permission. But if you’ll be patient, I’ll contact some of our previous customers and ask if they’ll talk to you.”
OK, fair enough, thought Akela.
The next day Atlantis got back to him with contact information for two students. One of them had an mit.edu email address. Akela met up with him.
“I’m interested in the Atlantis Men’s Retreat, and the student discount. The manager identified you as someone who could tell me about it.”
“Yes,” said he. “I did it last summer. A four day retreat. I- was a good experience. They have a beautiful place in the mountains. Do you like hiking?”
“Not particularly.”
“Too bad. There are some nice hikes there.”
“I was suspicious of the low price. Did they try to take advantage of you in any way?”
“No. Well, If you seem like a good fit, Jared—that’s the guy who runs it—might try to hire you onto the staff. I think he offers those student discounts as a recruiting tool. But I said no, and he didn’t pressure me.”
He seemed honest to Akela. The other student said similar things.
#
It was a fine dry day in the middle of June, in a wood in the Berkshires. Akela stepped off the path. He found a big old tree and sat on the ground with his back to it, facing the path. He opened up his kindle and began to read.
He’d been reading half an hour when he saw someone approaching along the path. But this person was coming from the direction opposite that of the Atlantis buildings.
A voice said, “Hello? Who’s that?”
To his surprise, it was a woman’s voice. Even more surprising, it was a woman he knew.
“Ruth?”
“Akela? Holy crap! What are you doing here?”
Akela was embarrassed. “Just reading,” he answered.
“But why are you here? In this isolated place in the woods?” Akela began contemplating the least embarrassing way to confess that he had fled to the mountains to get away from women. But fortunately, Ruth chattered on, “I just walked up here from the women’s retreat down the path.”
“Women’s retreat?” Akela asked.
“Yes, that’s why I’m so surprised to see you here.”
“What’s it called?”
“Atlantis Women’s Retreat. Oh, my God. Is there an Atlantis Men’s Retreat here, too?”
Akela pointed along the path in that direction.
“And why are you out here in the woods with a kindle, instead of there?”
“They have activities. Brotherhood sessions, and breathing exercises. Like really? I just want to be quiet and read.”
“So you escaped to the woods. And now along comes a woman to intrude on your male solitude. Even worse—it’s a woman you know!”
“You’re here to read by yourself, too?” asked Akela.
“Same as you.”
“Well, then, we both just want to read undisturbed. The forest is big enough for both of us.”
“Fair enough!” Ruth said. She pulled out her own kindle. Moving some distance away, but still within sight, she found another convenient old growth tree and sat down to read.
After two hours in comfortably uncompanionable silence, Akela rose to return to the Retreat—the Men’s Retreat—and find some lunch. As he left, he noticed Ruth looking after him. She waved him away. He waved back and left.
#
The next morning Akela sat down at the same tree to continue reading. As before, Ruth came along in half an hour. She waved and sat down to read without saying anything.
An hour later, she called, “Akela? Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure…” Akela answered, with some hesitation.
“Do you have a WiFi network at your place?”
“No. We’re supposed to disconnect.”
“Same with us. I’m fine with it, except for one thing. It hadn’t occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to get new books on my kindle without a network.”
“I have an idea,” Akela said. “What if we swapped kindles for the duration of our retreats?”
“Hey! Yeah. Good idea. Any recommendations for which of your books I ought to tackle?”
“Have you ever read The Jungle Books?”
“Kid’s books?” Ruth asked, skeptically.”Really?”
“Kids and adults. They’re good. They’re classics. And what would you recommend?”
“Do you read science fiction?”
‘Science fiction? I‘ve heard that’s all kind of trashy.”
“Ooo… Them’s fightin’ words,” said Ruth, “It’s not true. Some of it is very good. Try The Left Hand of Darkenss. It’s a classic, too.”
#
Two days later they gave their kindles back.
Ruth asked, “Is that where your name comes from? The wolf-pack leader in The Jungle Books?”
‘Sort of. My father was a Boy Scout. In the Scouts Akela is a name for a wise leader. The Scouts took the name from The Jungle Books, though, so, yeah, ultimately I’m named after Kipling’s lone wolf.”
“Did you read The Left Hand if Darkness?”
“I did. It was good. Not the hermaphroditism gimmick. That just seemed dumb to me. But I liked Genly and Estraven’s friendship. Particularly when they hiked across the Gobrin Ice together.”
“Oh! That gives me an idea.”
“What?”
“We never talked about why we both came up here.”
“No.”
“Well. I just wanted to get away from guys for a while. Am I right in guessing that you wanted to get away from women?”
Akela shrugged, shamefaced.
“Akela, I could be your Atlantis, and you could be mine.”
“Huh?” Akela responded, feeling stupid.
“If other people think I’m your girlfriend, then women wouldn’t bother you,” Ruth explained. “Except for me, of course,” she added, laughing.
“And you imagine that I could scare off unwanted male attention?”
“Yeah, for sure. You’re a big scary inarticulate hulk. I think I could use you to good effect. And you’re not bad-looking, either!”
Akela blinked. “I’m flattered, I think…”
Ruth laughed out loud. “Don’t fight it, Captain Monosyllable. You’re flattered.”
#
They tried Ruth’s reciprocal Atlantis idea that fall at MIT. They made it obvious that they were spending time together. They ate together when convenient and occasionally saw a movie together. They didn’t lie about their relationship, but if you asked Akela about his plans for the weekend, he would offer to check with Ruth.
To Akela’s surprise, it really worked. When they were together in some public place and met someone else, Ruth would sometimes take Akela’s arm and smile up at him. He laughed at her—she never behaved this way when they were alone. But even that played well. Akela looking down and laughing at Ruth looked like him gazing at her adoringly.
Also, she was pretty, with her black hair and dark eyes. Akela finally understood something about that. He had always thought that women wanted to be pretty to attract men. And obviously some did. But Ruth’s performance of prettiness was directed at least at much at other women as at guys. When Ruth took his arm and flashed that smile, it told other women, “You can’t have this one. He’s taken.”
“Taken,” Akela found, was a comfortable thing to be.
He didn’t even mind spending time with her. Their minds worked in complementary ways. He was an analytical thinker—he wanted to get to the bottom of things. But Ruth was smarter than him: quicker and more creative. If he told her about something he was working on, she was a fountain of bright ideas—the perfect person to bounce thoughts off of. He even thought, though he was far from sure of it, that he sometimes helped her.
In fact, he enjoyed spending time with her.
At the end of the fall term they moved out of student housing and rented a two-bedroom apartment together. There they lived together in chaste companionship.
#
Something had changed, Akela thought. Ruth was spending time with another student, Isaac Gold. Also, many nights she didn’t sleep at home. One evening, when they were alone at home, Ruth spoke to him.
“We need to talk,” she said.
“Yes, we do,” Akela agreed.
“I told Isaac about Atlantis.”
“Yes, you would have to, wouldn’t you? Isaac is a decent guy, and if he thought you were cheating on me with him, he wouldn’t feel good about it.”
‘Are you mad at us?” Ruth asked.
“No,” said Akela, genuinely surprised.
“She looked closely at him and said, “You really aren’t, are you?”
“Well, of course not. It was always part of the deal that we were free.”
“Uh…” gasped Ruth, at a loss for words this once. Usually Akela was the one gaping incoherently when they talked.
“It helps that I like Isaac. You could be happy together. And you’re my best friend, so I’m happy about that.”
Ruth looked at him with something like awe. Akela thought he had finally done a thing he had never before managed: surprised her.
“Has anyone ever told you you’re kind of sweet?” she said.
“Aside from you, no.”
“Me! When did I ever call you sweet?”
“Well, you usually pronounce it ‘big inarticulate hulk.’”
“Oh, God!” she laughed. She punched his shoulder. “You’re so right! I’m glad you were able to decrypt my endearments.” She added, “What will you do?”
“Well, I graduate this May and I have a job lined up at a tech startup on 128. I’m thinking of moving out to Newton to be closer to work.”
“Were you going to tell me about this?”
“Kind of thought I should let you go first. What about you and Isaac?”
“We’re going to get married, and buy a real home when we can afford it.” She held up her hand so he could see her new ring.
“Cool. Congratulations! I won’t even make any of my marriage jokes.”
“You are the epitome of tact, as always. But Akela, will you be alone?”
“I’m alone because I want to be. Also, I’ve grown up a little in the last couple years. Thanks to you, I am now capable of holding a conversation with a pretty girl without panicking.”
“I thought that only worked with me.”
“Turns out it’s a transferrable skill.”
“So you’ve been chatting with other pretty girls?”
“I may have carried out one or two field experiments.”
#
They did all that. Ruth and Isaac married. Akela remained a friend of the family. In later years, when they had kids, he became their Uncle Akela. When he visited, he read them stories from The Jungle Books.
And sometimes, when he was in the right mood, he would tell them stories of the lost continent of Atlantis. He didn’t read these from a book, and they were different every time. He talked as if he had been there. These were the best stories, because they were true. Atlantis wasn’t really lost. Akela thought it could still be found, if you searched in the right way.
Afterword
This story began with these lines from a poem by WH Auden,
Old saints on millstones float with cats To islands out at sea Whereon no female pelvis can Threaten their agape. —“Bucolics. V Islands,” WH Auden
That gave me Akela’s character. (I’m sorry I didn’t manage to work the cats in, but for someone living in student housing it would have been awkward.) I chose the lines from “Atlantis” for the epigraph because I thought they were funny, and they also suggest a plot.
The cover image is a phase portrait of f(z):
The image has been rotated 15°.
A phase portrait is a visualization of a complex function introduced by Elias Wegert in Visual Complex Functions: An Introduction with Phase Portraits.
Musical addendum
The hammer and the bell referred to in the first verse of this song were located in the Kendall/MIT MBTA Red Line station—-that is, the subway station for MIT, close to Legal Seafoods.
Excellent storytelling! 💯
And I’m glad that they became friends and that their friendship continued over the years! 🙏
What I loved most about this story was the friendship. So many stories push every meaningful connection between a man and a woman toward romance, but this one allowed something different to exist. Akela and Ruth became safe places for each other without needing to become everything to each other. Their relationship felt honest, healthy, and surprisingly rare. By the end, I realized Atlantis was never really a place. It was the experience of being fully accepted by another person. Really loved this one, the writing is incredible. I am definitely subbing so I can read more of your work! I'm a fan!