Monstrous Regiment
Terry Pratchett
War is stoopid
I thought that Jingo was the Discworld novel about War. It wasn’t really. Clausewitz famously said that “War is the continuation of policy with other means.” In Jingo Ankh-Morpork’s ideal politician Lord Havelock Veterinari politicks so skillfully that the “other means” almost didn’t occur, having been rendered unnecessary. Book 31, Monstrous Regiment is the Discworld war novel. (Or, at least it is the first such, and I hope the only.)
As I work my way through Discworld, I’ve noticed a shift in the last few novels. Terry Pratchett is now, I think, writing heroes. Not mere protagonists, but actual heroes -- people we are meant to admire, and whose existence (if only as characters in a novel) makes a moral statement. Of course, we have had Sam Vimes for some time now. But in Novel 29, Night Watch, Sam got some extra juice. This was followed by Tiffany Aching in The Wee Free Men (whom we are going to see a lot more of, as she has her very own subseries). And now, in Monstrous Regiment, we have Polly Perks.
Of course, since Terry Pratchett is Terry Pratchett, we don’t just get a war novel. Instead, Pratchett writes a satire of a particular type of war story: the one in which a woman disguises herself as a man and joins the military. This story has been worn to the nub over the centuries. There are half a dozen traditional English/Scottish ballads on this theme. (Polly is named after one of them, “Sweet Polly Oliver”.) There is a Chinese story that Disney made into two feature films. And there are stories in The Arabian Nights. Women soldiers disguised as men are everywhere!
So, Polly, a citizen of the painfully belligerent perpetually-at-war starving nation of Borogravia, cuts her hair and joins up as a soldier, with the aim of finding her brother, who was conscripted. They’re fighting against their neighbor Zlobenia. It’s a stupid, stupid war. In fact, if Monstrous Regiment has a message, it would be “War is stupid.”
This is not exactly a new thought. But apparently it can’t be said often enough -- we never seem to learn.
Pratchett, as you probably expect, if you’ve reached Discworld novel 31, doesn’t make heroes of officers. (Well, yes, Sam Vimes, but we all know that Vimes is the most reluctant officer there could possibly be.) Or at least not of commissioned officers. They are present, but they are figures of ridicule. Pratchett‘s war heroes are NCOs, one of whom is described thus:
You are hereby promoted to sergeant major, and a better candidate for the job I have never met. You are steeped in deviousness, cunning and casual criminality, Sergeant Jackrum. You should do well.
[spoiler1]
So, yeah, I really enjoyed this. The satiric conceit is a bit over-the-top, but Polly is real hero, and I loved her.
In fact, our hero Polly ends the novel a sergeant.